Follow The Yes

I can clearly remember that morning, waking up with a slip of hope that the Doc I was on my way to see may be the one I'd been long for - someone who could tell me what the hell was happening and what to do next in order for me to return to my glorious life. As I prepared to leave home I glance at the mirror in the entrance hall and into the eyes of a complete stranger. Who was that old woman and why was she so sad? Her mouth had a dramatic upside down smile. I lifted my leaden arms to manually lift the corners of my mouth. No go. Down they went. It was quite shocking to see. My resting face was a reflection of a desperately sad person. With my legs feeling stiff and heavy I shuffled off to the Doctors' office. As I made my way across the street in front of the medical building I could feel the watchful eyes of the drivers on either side of me waiting patiently for me to reach the other side of the crosswalk. What were they thinking, I wondered. Is she an addict looking for...

When my body became ill, and my doctor said I had to stop work, I was devastated. I felt I was living the dream... Director of Operations for a mid sized International Advertising Agency based out of Vancouver, Canada.. my dream job. How could a break from it be good for me. Wasn't this what everyone strived for.. professional success? Over the next few months, I felt as though I lost everything, including what I believed to be my true identity. One afternoon during this time, while my colleagues were busy feeling empowered at their work and my daughter was busy learning at school, I sat alone in my home office. Curtains closed to the outside sunshine, I felt like I was in a dungeon plotting for the release of my very soul. My desk was organized with precision, a small desk lamp illuminating my journal and nothing else. I was looking for direction and support, something to hang onto. What is happening to me? How can I fix it? I wrote my question and awaited inspiration. When ...

My daughters second grade teacher asked her, What do you want to do when you grow up? What my mom does, she replied What does your mom do? I don't know but she loves it.

I live on a lily pad in the middle of a still pond. My high dream is to get off the pond without falling into it. It doesn't matter how many clever ideas I have to achieve this goal, there is nothing but the lily pad and the pond, and me. My only plan must be to keep a watchful eye out for something, of which I have absolutely no knowledge. I sit and wait. I watch the horizon in every direction because I don't know from which direction my assistance will come. If I see more than one possibility before me I will jump on the first one close enough for me jump as I can only be sure that it is the right choice because it has arrived first. My ability to measure which choice is the right one increases with each jump, which is helpful as the more I jump, the more choices present themselves. The more I jump, the faster I travel. I'm moving to fast to bother with a plan!

Look at the past.. but don't stare. I am a buffalo. I feel strength within my shoulders. The weight of my brow grounds me into  the ancient earth beneath my hooves. There is no use for fear in this earthly experience as I was created ready to defend and protect. Through the wisdom passed on by my ancestors I will always know what to do, and where to go; a dedicated lookout, ever prepared to respond appropriately to any possible opportunity with confidence. And then, confused, I notice I am facing backwards.  What I see, has already transpired. I am standing strong against the past. Which leads me to realise, with increasing panic, my delicate rump is facing forward… facing the unknown with little to  no protection, or available insight. I experienced this vision during a guided meditation. At the time I was in a relationship which offered me the same painful drama I had experienced repeatedly my throughout my life. In spite of the grief the relationship continued...

When you throw a baby in the air she laughs because she knows you will catch her. I began this lifetime trusting that I would be taken care of. First by my mother and father. After all, they created me, provided for my basic needs and had an intimate stake in my wellbeing. Kind of a no-brainer that I would be safe in their protective arms. As I grew to spend more one on one time with my three older siblings my sense of trust blossomed to include other family members. It became apparent that when one of us did well, our collective wellness increased. And when one stumbled we all felt the fall.  With my father in the Canadian Armed Forces we moved a lot.. to different countries, provinces, towns and cities, even different neighbourhoods within a town or city.  In the first seven years of school I attended 8 different schools, lived in eight different neighbourhoods, attempted to bond with eight different groups of friends. The only constant in our lives was each other. Ou...